take off

My heart beats. Fast. And then slow. Up and down.

My stomach feels like it\’s about to turn. My head is spinning slowly.
The sounds I hear are this loud hmms and buzz together. O loud, ye so silent, I\’m the only one hearing them. They have a pattern of playing. It\’s doing something to me. It is speaking to me in a way. No words, but it does say something.
Kind of hypnotic.

Let me fall into it.My insides turn. The blood flows to where it is making it. First my right leg, going to my toes. Comes to my hips and now my stomach. Pushing me back. Its on top of me pushing me back.

It arouses me. But it gave up too early, I liked being under its control. It teases. Comes and goes. Makes want to pull it towards me. But it\’s not possible.

There is nothing there.

All made up in my mind. My mind plays with me. It teases me. Holds me, pulls me up away from this realm. Pulls me far away, I\’m flying with it. It has grabbed on to my chest and I fly.

We are so up.
It\’s beautiful here.
I feel light.

I\’ve reached to a point I hadn\’t seen before. I want to touch it. That top. I reach up and it drops me.
I drop. I fall. Without a sound. No wind rushing in my ear.
I\’m falling to the ground. To the world I had called mine, what I believed was mine, but cannot call it that anymore. I\’ve seen this place, that is above yours, felt things you couldn\’t have. I want it again.
But I\’m falling. Help me I\’m falling. I will fall to the earth. I brace myself for the fall but I miss it.
I keep falling lower.
It\’s getting darker.
I can\’t see anything.
I can\’t feel anything.

Help me.