I\’ve taken my med to go to sleep. But I can\’t sleep. It happened yesterday too. I made the mistake of taking another pill and that shut me out for 12 hours. Don\’t do that, friends. It\’s dangerous.
And exciting. Playing with your life seems exciting. Fucked up. But aren\’t all fucked up things a little exciting. It\’s the forbidden-ness of that makes it exciting. How you aren\’t supposed to do things and so doing that thing makes it that much more desirable.
I know I should be asleep right now. I have to wake up at 6. I promised someone I would. But that breaking the promise and disappointing someone gives another form of high.
High is used as a bad word, related to \”drugs\”. But for me it\’s that rush in a state of calmness that\’s all yours.
The mistake is yours.
The blame is on you.
You are the fuck up. Nothing else.
It has another sense of calmness to it.
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